Yes, my friends there IS religion out there! The Trees are Deities with Names. The Snail Darters and the Spotted Owl are Saints. The faith is Global Warming and Save the Rain Forests. Yes My Brothers and Sisters, there is religion out there!
The Great Priests of this religion are the scientists that sign their name to the global warming doctrine. Do not mind the fact that the majority of climatoligists say that these fluctuations in climate are do to naturally occurring phenomenons and cyclical changes in the activity of the sun… etc. NO! do not listen to the blasphemers!
Do not listen to the fact that the earth has cooled since 2001, the cooling is only proof that the earth becoming warmer. What? This is not logical? Forget the logic! You must have FAITH my brethren!
Man is destroying the climate with greenhouse gasses. This we know. We know this because Humans have increased the the greenhouse gas levels by a whopping .009%! Where did this information come from? Well from the Bishop Al Gore of course.
There is religion out there. I jut hope I do not fart. Thus creating more greenhouse gases and probably going to Green Hell (where I am talked to by Barbra Streisand, and Michael Moore tries to slip me the tongue).



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If you play your cards right maybe you can get DiCaprio to snog you in the Green Hell.