OK, something has been bothering me. I’ve seen it all over the news here in Philly, and from a bunch of my FaceBook friends. It ticks me off, and I need to vent.

Lately, it seems the ability to spell certain words has gone by the wayside. Now, I’m not saying it’s an indictment of the current public school system, ‘cause that’s far too easy of a target. There has been a very conscious effort on the part of the media to deliberately misspell words. And I declare it’s time to stop.

I don’t know why I’m such a stickler for spelling. Maybe it’s because I fancy myself a writer. Maybe it’s because any motard can use SpellCheck. Maybe it’s because the one word I seem to misspell the most is ,ironically enough, ‘learn’. Maybe it’s because I was the 6^th grade spelling champ. (Yea, take that, Timmy Craig. What gas station are you working at now? And are they hiring?) It’s making my city look bad, and it needs to stop.

It’s spelled ‘fever’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fun’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fucking’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fanatic’. There is no ph. Unless you are talking about the Phille Phanatic. OK, I’ll give you that one. He’s my favorite player. Ooh, there’s another one.

It’s spelled ‘favorite’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘fan’. There is no ph.

It’s spelled ‘finally’. There is no ph.

I think you get my point. When I turn on the news, and see a glaring headline like “Phillies Phever”, I can’t help but feel like a motard. Enouph is enouph. Using ’ph’ makes you look like you are a 8 year old girl with a crush. Are the ‘i’s in Phillies dotted with little pink hearts? I can’t help but cringe when I see men, grown men, with wives and kids and jobs spelling ‘fan’ as ‘phan’. Honestly put, the behavior is rather ‘phay’. Besides, that poor guy who works down at the China Garden is getting all paranoid because everyone else is wearing his name on their shirts. My wall on FB is littered with such atrocities. (And, yes, I sound phay bitching about my FB wall.)

Look, I am not actively rooting against the Phils. I actually hope they win. I think it would be great for the city, great for the fans and great for morale. Plus, I absolutely love watching sports fans doing stupid things when their team wins the championship. Fighting, rowdiness, drunken mayhem, general destruction. I’m not ragging on Philly here, it happens in every town. I just don’t know whose fans are more obnoxious; Philly’s or New York’s. Yea, I’ll pull for the Phils here. But it won’t be enough tonight to take me away from my usual Wednesday night routine of Ghost Hunters, The Ultimate Fighter, then crawling up into a ball and crying myself to sleep. But I might tune in between commercials.

Colorado has a “Make My Day” law. In a nut shell, it simply means that you won’t be prosecuted for defending your home, your family or your life with deadly force. It doesn’t mean that you can chase the suspect down in the street and kill him, as one homeowner did. It does mean that if someone breaks into your home with the intent to do you and your family bodily harm and rob you, the homeowner can use deadly force. In other words, blow them out of their socks. While I would prefer to cause them great bodily harm, I would not hesitate to open up with my shotgun at close range. This has two advantages; 1) it is a final solution to a home robbery and 2) the suspect can’t come back and sue for damages (that’s been done on numerous occasions).

While Colorado doesn’t have the shootouts in the streets like some Texas border towns do, we do have our share of home invasions by scumbags looking for easy pickings. I realize that the police can’t be everywhere at all times (they get there after the fact most times), it is realistic that the homeowner be prepared to protect themselves against any eventuality. I have my shotgun handy but I also have my walking stick, a six foot length of Aspen, hard as a rock and can break an arm or bust a head in one easy swing. To quote an old saying, “I’d rather be judged by twelve of my peers than be carried by six of my friends.”

The bad guys of today are getting younger and younger, knowing they can’t be tried as an adult and most likely, at the most, be sentenced to a juvenile detention center until they are twenty-one, will be released and out on the streets to continue their life of crime, often with an advanced degree in crime. Whenever I move into a new place, I always make sure that the neighbors know that I’m armed and will use my firearms; I’ve seldom had trouble from the local hoods. If I’m forced to use deadly force, I won’t apologize for doing so, I won’t feel sorry that someone is dead and I won’t apologize to his family for the loss of their child. They raised him, saw where he was heading and did nothing to turn him around. Some will see that attitude as callus and uncaring. Far from it, I care but my family comes first. If the cops can’t handle the crime rate, it is up to the individual to be prepared to do so and just call them to haul away the trash.

On a national scale, the crime rate has increased, in spite of what the Justice Department says, and more and more homeowners are being caught in the middle. We’ve been told to just call the police and let them handle it but while you’re on the phone, they’re breaking in and terrorizing your family. I have a shotgun and they have automatic weapons, like bringing a knife to a gunfight. Very unequal, unless the shotgun is loaded with turkey loads. That’s nine pieces of lead the size of a small ball bearing going out at over 1,000 ft per second. Now that can do some serious damage and discourage any intruder because they want to rob, not be killed.

We don’t live in the Old West any longer, we’re supposed to be a civilized nation of laws but the only law to date that makes any sense is the Make My Day law. More and more gun laws are passed each day and not one does any good because the criminals ignore them and they just take away yet another right of the law abiding citizen. I, for one, will not live scared in my home behind locked doors and shuttered windows. I will not be made to live in fear of venturing outside and enjoying life. And I refuse to relie on someone who won’t be there in my time of need to protect me and my family, I’ll do it myself and explain later.

Why am I ranting about this subject? because crime is hitting closer and closer to home. A new neighbor just moved in next door and while they were gone, someone broke in and stole a couple of TVs and a laptop computer (I could have told them it was unsafe to live here but they didn’t ask). I don’t believe that I could live anywhere that is completely safe and no one in their right mind would think so either. All one can do is make their home as safe as possible and refuse to live in fear. To that end, I keep my shotgun handy and loaded.

It’s been a while since I’ve been here to spread my insights of great ponderence, but this made me take pause and write.  So, a potentially racist situation goes down that results in a man’s arrest and Barack Obama immediately comes to the defense of his friend…Yale Professor of African Studies, Henry Louis Gates in the midst of the frey.

It has been an unnecessary crap storm if you will, that Obama has backed himself into regarding this incident having not been availed of the proper facts.  I’ve heard it said that there were mostly egos involved that got out of hand.  It is more a case of ONE ego, that of Professor Gates.  As the police reports have stated, Gates became belligerent the moment the white officer (there was also a black and Hispanic officer on the scene, as well) began asking routine questions that one would ask on a B&E (breaking and entering) call (i.e. Is there anyone else in the house? May we look around?, etc.).  These are all standard procedure for a call of this nature.  However, the YALE professor felt it beneath him to be questioned in any manner regarding suspicion of any kind. The “educated” and I believe correct response would have been…”Thank you for coming to my home when called in regard to something this serious. Certainly, you may check around. I’m happy to do whatever I can to help rectify any misunderstanding by the neighbor as well as the police department. In fact, I probably should thank the neighbor for his conscientiousness, as well.”

Instead, he was most likely irritable when the officers arrived, having been absent minded enough to lock himself out of his home. That disgruntled attitude (coupled with a predisposition toward racism as an African Studies Prof.) then manifest itself in the form of indignant arrogance toward an innocent officer who was simply trying to do his job.  In order for this to be even remotely considered racial profiling, Gates would have to have been randomly stopped.  This was a B&E call, plain and simple.  When the officer asked for Gates’ ID, he went ballistic prior to complying with the officer’s request. Then the officer was satisfied and began to leave with the other officers and Gates continued to berate and malign the officer all the way to the front door with racial epithets. The officer warned him to let it go and asked him to stand down.  Gates refused and the officer took out his cuffs and warned him a last time.  Gates, was relentless and as a result was arrested.  The only reason that the charges were dropped, in my opinion, is because not only was race introduced (by Gates) but also, because he is a high profile individual. It’s bad press for the department any way you look at it and the higher ups don’t need Obama’s camp looking down at their fair city.  They had no choice, even though it would have been a simple misdemeanor.

Adding insult to injury, Obama proceeded to call the officer “stupid” without having read even so much as a newsclipping on the incident.  The educated and proper response here, in my opinion, should have been…”I have not read the police report on the incident so, I won’t speculate and will reserve my comments until such time.”  His arrogance wouldn’t let him do that.  Instead, he chose to get out ahead of the situation and make it about defense of a friend over defense of the facts.

In closing, what this said to me is that both Gates and his buddy Barack arrogantly overstated their cases.  It continues to be revealed that Obama has some pretty outspoken friends (Rev. Wright, communist party devotees, etc.).  Being outspoken is not a bad thing in and of itself, mind you.  However, the destructive words of an outspoken person who is not intent on speaking words that teach, heal or inform for the progression and edification of the whole over self…is quite dangerous.  This further indicates to me that birds of a feather flock together. These “friends” of Obama’s that continue to pop up can only cause one to think…Who is the real man beneath the spit and polished President?  Is there an outspoken radical buried someplace deep down in there who thinks that every irresponsible, harsh and divisive situation can be excused and brushed off by simply sitting down and sharing a beer together?  Great idea, until the beer starts talking…then what?  Seriously, though, Obama and other educated black men such as himself have a huge responsibility to speak intelligently to such issues as racism…not perpetuate its destructiveness themsevles by viewing every given incident from a racially-motivate point of view absent of the facts.      

That’s my take.

Benman out!

I’m disgusted. What’s more depressing than the economy? What’s more of a bummer than all the people losing their jobs, their homes, their hope, their fucking everything?

I’ll tell you what. Walking down to Stillwater’s infamous FORMERLY FREE Lumberjack Days celebration and seeing it barred shut. Getting a load of the massive quantities of youngsters, huddled in huge groups, loitering, bored, and bummed on every curb just OUTSIDE the chainlink fences and gates barring them from the formerly FREE TO ALL Lumberjack Days celebration. I can’t think of too many teenagers that are going to fork over $10 so that they can then fork over another $5-$6 on the hotdog they were planning on scoring while watching a few interesting acts onstage and looking for familiar faces in the fun, festive, normally packed, sometimes weird, always entertaining crowd.

Teenagers weren’t the only people turning away from the ridiculously prison-like barrage of chain-linkfencing. In case you hadn’t picked up on it, for the first time, they’re charging a $10 cover to get inside what was before, a down-home, local, fun, free, old-fashioned small town annual celebration.

Yeah so it got out of hand when Lynard Skynard played a few years back. Whatever. Bad planning.

Hell, I won’t even pay $10 to get into the State Fair and that’s pretty big-time.

All I have to say is (edit this): City of Stillwater, you just fucked all your Lumberjack Days Vendors in the ASS. Way to stick it to the little guy trying to make a buck.

Major fucking Bummer. Guess I’ll go take my usual hike in a state park - the fee for that is only $25 a YEAR (not counting the $105 fine I had to pay for forgetting to update my annual pass in time.)

What a fucking money grubbing pathetic world we live in. I’m disgusted and ashamed Stillwater. Fucking disgusted. Take your infamous celebration and shove it up your money-grubbing touristy ass.

That sounds simply enough, doesn’t it? I don’t mean well enough to fool the driving examiner but well enough to keep yourself out of trouble on the road. I’ve been driving since I was fourteen years old and received my first license at sixteen. I’ve held a license is four states and an international license while in the Navy. I’ve also driven in all kinds of weather, some with a pucker factor of nine or better and survived it all. So let it be said I’m an experienced driver; I know how to keep it between the ditches and shiny side up. So when I see drivers today, I have to wonder just how they managed to get a license to get behind the wheel.

I live in a suburb of Denver, Colorado and often have to drive the major freeways to get where I want to go, mainly fishing. I do my damnest to stay off the roads during rush hour, happens twice a day, and definitely off the roads during the holidays when the most important person on the road is going nowhere fast. I’ve also been in my share of accidents, from minor fender benders to one that totaled my truck (the other driver was talking on her phone and rear ended me doing 40 MPH). I’ve seen drivers talking on their phones, sending text messages, eating, drinking, reading, putting on makeup, leaning over the seat to swat a kid, changing the radio station and even changing their clothes, all while driving more than the speed limit. I’ve found it in my best interests to just back off on the gas and let them get ahead of me, far ahead of me.

I have nothing against legal immigrants, those who followed the law in getting here but Colorado has a major problem with the illegal ones. They travel here to work in the fields or in construction and send their money back home. They know they are here unlawfully and so have no reason to obey our laws, they can buy a car and drive. They have no reason to buy car insurance, a state law, or obey the traffic laws. If they cause an accident, they simply walk away and go buy another car (this happens all too often, hence, uninsured driver insurance). I will never understand why the license manual is printed in Spanish when all our traffic signs are printed in English; I believe they should learn our language before getting a license and getting behind the wheel but then our politicians see them as a serious voting block and don’t want to offend them.

Colorado has plenty of winding, challenging mountain roads, more than a few look like a can of worms when viewed from overhead. There is a particular one that goes from Golden to Black Hawk (our version of Las Vegas) and is always crowded, many times with inexperienced drivers. That note is reinforced by the sheer number of accidents that happen on the two-lane, twisting, blind corners road. From Highway 58 and Highway 6 in Golden, it’s only 18 miles to Black Hawk, with a top speed limit of 40 MPH. Not only are there plenty of cars, trucks and SUVs but there are also casino buses, dump trucks and slow movers, making for a challenging, often frustrated drive.  Throw in the constant construction and one can see that speed is not warranted nor wanted.

Not everyone is going up there for the gambling; there is gold panning, kyaking, fishing, sight seeing, the wildlife and rock climbing for those so inclined. All the pull offs are often crowded with cars and trucks constantly pulling on and off the road. The drive calls for constant vigilance and eyes on the road but the drivers insist on scanning the hills, watching Clear Creek rush by and pointing out a Big Horn sheep or deer to their passengers. This is especially true during the winter when an inch of ice can cover the road, making a trip into the creek a distinct possibility. This only reinforces my belief that everyone on the road is an idiot except me. I’ve driven this road many times in all types of weather and I know when to slow down even more, which blind corner to watch for and where the cops park. I also know that just one accident can close the road for hours, in both directions.

I have a few helpful hints for other drivers. 1- don’t rush me, I’m peddling as fast as I can. 2 - if you’re in that much of a rush, pass me and I’ll wave when I later pass you sitting in a ditch or pulled over by a cop. 3 - you are not the only one on the road, it was designed for multiple vehicles so share it. 4 - those caution signs are there for a reason, obey them. It means the curve was meant to be taken at 30 MPH, not 60. 5 - the wildlife was here before the road so give them a brake or have them as a hood ornament. Same with bicycles.

While I’ve mentioned those who prefer two wheels instead of four; you are not the only one on the road. You’re riding a hundred pound bike while I’ve driving a 4,000 pound truck. Who do you think will win if you pull in front of me? Yes, it is now a state law that I give you three feet of space but what if there isn’t that much to give? I will give you as much as I can but I’m not going head to head with that 70,000 pound dump truck just for you. Most importantly, use a little common sense before choosing your route; a two lane, narrow road is not the place to exercise your rights to the road. You are governed by the same traffic laws as I am but use a little common sense in doing so and we’ll both reach our destinations safely.

Teenagers, just because I have gray hair doesn’t mean I’m stupid, it does mean that I’ve been driving longer than you have. I probably tried the same stupid stunts you’re pulling but I learned from my mistakes, as you will if you live long enough. Show a little respect for your elders.

Skinny dipping at the bottom of Rainbow Falls in Hawaii, with Megan Fox, is definitely at the top of my summer activities wish list. Now that would be a real transformer.

Of course, the only way that will happen is if I die and God says, “Welcome to heaven Mountain Dude- I’m going to make all of your wishes come true.” Needless to say, it’s always good to be prepared for anything- Even sudden death–Which is why I have more than a few wishes stashed away, just in case.

Realistically, my less grandiose goal for this summer is to enjoy at least five outdoor rock concerts. With so many venues to choose from, I’m sure I can pull that off without having to go to heaven and transform a bunch of wishes. Of course “heaven” means different things to different people. For some people, getting high on great music at a concert under the stars, on a warm summer night, when an amazing performer is creating magic moments, can make it seem like one is actually experiencing heaven on earth- Even if it only lasts for a few heartbeats. And then there’s kissing beneath a shimmering shroud of stars, which can also make it seem like you’re in heaven (but let’s not get too sidetracked with stuff like love and carnal connections).

One of my favorite rock concert venues is at Lake Arrowhead, California. Located high in the mountains in a picturesque, alpine village setting, there is a free concert every Friday and Saturday night, all summer long. Picture speed boats and water skiers skimming all over a beautiful lake surrounded with pine trees. Kids are walking around the village licking ice cream cones. Dog lovers are parading their big huskies, shepherds and Saint Bernards. Families are having picnics all over a grassy knoll in full view of the concert stage. A convenient beer garden is stage left and offers a variety of beer and wine. Concerts always begin just before dusk and by the time it gets dark, the dance area right in front of the stage is packed with people visibly having a great time. The bands scheduled for this weekend are: “Fantastic Diamond,” a rock band, and “Common Sense” a reggae band.

Another of my favorite venues is in Long Beach, California, where the Queen Mary is docked. This weekend, there is a “Motorcycle Show and Calendar Girl Music Festival.” The two day event, located at Queen Mary Park, includes a “Custom Motorcycle Show” and a “Calendar Girl Bikini Contest.”

Crowds of up to 20,000 people, mostly biker types, walk around eyeballing hot, custom bikes and hot, scantily dressed models who work in the tents sponsored by 200 major motorcycle parts manufacturers. I went last year and became fascinated with the electric motorcycles. I’m still planning on buying one. Fuck gas. Fuck the Middle East.

Food booths sell BBQ ribs and burgers. An outdoor bar under a big tent offers cold beer, wine and mixed drinks. Sexy and talented all girl bands perform throughout the day.  Last year, there was a smokin’ hot all girl, ACDC tribute band (Whole Lotta Rosies), and they are going to perform again this weekend. Actress/singer Elizabeth Nicole will also be back performing and hosting. Her many talents are worth the price of admission alone.

Where is your favorite concert venue located?

You can see more photos by Mountain Dude at www.dporterdvd.com

Yesterday, our water bill was accompanied by a lovely color brochure on water conservation in the Land of Gracious Living.  Apparently now is the time to conserve or there will be fines to pay!  Oh, no, Mr. Bill!

There is now an ordinance in Yorba Linda (Orange County) to not run sprinklers between 9-6 or more than 3 days per week, wash cars with the hose running, or have excessive water runoff on sidewalks or gutters.  The local government now has a right to tell us when and how to use outdoor water; something that should have been monitored more closely for the past several years.  Now people are screaming, “Next thing they’ll tell us when to take a shower and how many times a day we can flush the toilet!”  I’m not screaming, I’m laughing.

If people monitor their own water usage, there would be no need to bring city ordinances into this, but this is what it’s come to and it doesn’t surprise me, or bother me, one bit.  Given our family’s water usage and methods of household conservation, I don’t feel suppressed at all. 

Orange county citizens: ARE YOU OFFENDED BY THIS ORDINANCE?  What are you going to do about it?

Why is it that when I go to well any public place I’m just assaulted by groups of people that piss me off. Here are a few

The New Age Family - These wonderful groups of people are the people that have to make sure that everything they buy is a reflection of their family’s values and all I want to do is scream in their face “IT’S A PACK OF FUCKING OREOS! IT DOESN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT YOU! MAYBE THAT YOU LIKE COOKIES!” Or at the very least not hold the family meeting in the middle of the aisle so that I can get by please.

The Ultra Religious Family - I’m fine with these people’s beliefs, I just don’t care. The only thing that I ask of them is to 1 not hand me a pamphlet for any reason. 2 Would they please refrain from singing “Jesus loves me” while they’re shopping for tube socks, it’s creepy.

People that stand there and look at simple basic things for 20 minutes. I’ll give you an example the dorky guy that looks at something like Peanut Butter or Eggs for 20 minutes. Don’t you just want to run up to them and scream “It’s peanut butter it all tastes the same! Buy the one you bought last week or buy the one on sale!” That’s how I make my decision when I buy beer. either Budweiser, Michelob or Coors will be on sale. Guess which one I pick.

The Family that all dresses the same. You’ve seen these people I’m sure. Usually they’re on their way to a family reunion or some event and they stop for let’s say Noodle Salad. While their standing in line i want to walk over and say you know you guys look like four jackasses with you “Miller Family Reunion 09″ t-shirts and the 8 pounds of noodle salad from a grocery store. Why couldn’t you just put the shirts on when you got there. You know put them over your normal everyday t-shirt save yourslef a little humliation.

I think there’s going to be a part two

That’s all for now

Warcorpse

Okay Warcorpse here with something that’s almost killed him and many of you on the road. I was in McDonald’s yesterday. Yes once in a while I eat there, I was to hungry to wait until I got home. Anyway so I’m standing in line and ahead of me is an elderly couple taking FOREVER ordering. Which I don’t really get because McD’s menu hasn’t really changed in the last 25 years and everything still tastes the same. So after so many years of life you’d pretty much know what you want right off the bat, I do. But what the hell I suppose after so many years you get the right to take as long as you want in line. So I patiently waited and got to the register and ordered my food to go. While I’m walking out I almost get run over by a grandma in of course a Buick because she’s not feeling the need to look behind her as she backs out.

I thought as you get older, wiser you get better at the things you do everyday. That’s the attitude that half of the old people have. Then they pull out with out looking, run red lights, cut across the parking lot at a high rate of speed. Go either 5 or 500mph on the highway. Do U-turns in the middle of the street, how are any of theses considered safe driving practices from the wisest members of society.

Then most states put restriction after restriction on teen drivers and their justification is that “they don’t have enough experience”. Yet the ones with the most experience are just as bad. I’d venture to say the number of safe teen drivers to elderly drivers is about the same. Would it really be so bad for some elderly people to re-take the drivers test at lets say 80 to see if they still got what it takes to operate a car safely. And in some cases put them on a restricted licence.

This is not to say that all old people are bad drivers about half of them are wonderful drivers fully capable of operating a car normally like about half the teens out there. Just if we’re going to continue to target and restrict one group of people then we should acknowledge that there’s another group that’s just as bad.

Anyway that’s my view point feel free to disagree

Warcorpse

You know that every one is on the fad of going green and clean energy. Just like they’re on the fad of getting rid of trans fats. I mean they were just on the kick of no-carbs or very low carbs. So they’re on the kick of clean energy but like morons they don’t bother to read the whole report or even consider the consequences of their actions for example.

E-85 the cleaner burning gas that everyone should switch to. Except for the little fact that only the car emissions are cleaner than traditional gas. The truth is that to produce one gallon of E-85 alone coughs up more green house gases than methods used to produce a galleon of gas with the car emissions included.

The electric or hybrid cars well this is a nice idea except where’s the power going to come from. I know that people say that the cars will be charged durning the off peak hours at night. Wait a minute though if everyone is charging their car at night then wouldn’t that make a new peak time for power usage. Now where is this extra power going to come from?

A car that runs on hydrogen a wonderful idea and hopefully in the future it’s available but the fact of the matter is the technology is not there yet. The cost to make the tanks brings the vehicle’s price tag into the one to five million dollar range. It’s the same story with the battery powered car. Good idea but the tech ready to make it cost feasible to the average person.

Now the other big gripe from the eco people that can only see the world through green eyes and screw everyone else is power plants. But that’s a post for another time. You know believe it or not I like the idea of Green energy I do but that’s what it is at the moment a good nice idea. If he half assed rush the new energy we’ll just end up making things a hell of a lot worse, like with the e-85 dibacle.