Yes a man who was light years ahead of his time penned this opening to one of the MOST influential documents ever written in history.

Sadly, today this means nothing to the elected officials governing our once great country. No it didn’t start sliding downhill when the Novelty Obama-nation uttered the statement, “We live in the greatest country in the world; help me change it, but that non hacker sure as fuck hasn’t HELPED things out a whole lot has he?

Motherfuckers (and father fuckers for you ladies who feel left out when I say it) Are lining up to defend this shitbird with statements like “No one can expect him to deliver on all of his campaign promises”. Then WHY the FUCK was he elected by a majority vote? If it doen’t matter what they say, why aren’t we picking a President’s name out of a fucking Fez? (Yeah a turban would just be a freaking hand towel with a bunch of clumps of paper inside it wouldn’t it?)

I’m getting off track here. HEALTH CARE for ALL should be FOR all not just one for us and one for them. I’f I’m having their shit crammed down my throat then at least tell me that they are getting the same lack of condiments that I am. REGULATIONS and REFORM are what the current System needs and not a Socialist, Eastern Block replacement for it.

While we’re at it, lets think about this. Nancy Pelosi and the fucking DNC is all over this shit about Leveling out the WEALTH of the nation. Lets call this what it REALLY is. They want You and I to be in the poorest 85% of the nation so THEY can be in the RICHEST 15% (if they will allow that many people to be as “privileged” as they are for being good enough to get you fucking moronic, mouth breathing masses to vote them into office.

“From Each According to His Abilities and To Each According to His Needs” is the mantra that these fuckaholics are chanting and the Public is chewing that up like it is a NEW concept. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov brought forth REFORM via these means in a little place that used to be called Russia with these EXACT words.

The FIRST thing that these radicals who wish to infringe upon OUR Inalienable Rights do is to take away the guns of the people that they wish to enslave.

Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

This was written by men who had to shed blood to have the right to protect themselves from all enemies Foreign AND Domestic.

Hitler immediately took away every gun from the Jews and I hope you fucking idiots do remember what happened to them during his rise to power. NOW the Democrats have sought to take guns out of the hands of the people for many years and they always come back to the same thing. They SAY it is for OUR own good so that “Criminals” cannot get their hands on guns to harm us. WAKE THE FUCK UP. They are the criminals that wish to enslave YOU and make you work so that you get just enough to get by and they get MORE than they can possibly expect their grandchildren to be able to spend. if GUNS are so BAD, why are these people all Guarded by agents who have them?

AGAIN… WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! Our society is being dumbed down by the lack of a true Education System. Our Wages and Income are being attacked, we are being led like lambs to the slaughter and the apathy and brainwashing that our leaders MUST be right just because they hold that position is sickening.

We are soon going to need a Revolution to get the Government out of our wallets, schools, and privacy of our own bedrooms because the MASSES can no longer think for themselves or ask the simple questions and react to the answers that are given to them rather than just going with the flow.

I can no longer sit idly by and watch the destruction of the greatest nation in the world. Who has the guts to speak out with me?

It’s been a while since I’ve been here to spread my insights of great ponderence, but this made me take pause and write.  So, a potentially racist situation goes down that results in a man’s arrest and Barack Obama immediately comes to the defense of his friend…Yale Professor of African Studies, Henry Louis Gates in the midst of the frey.

It has been an unnecessary crap storm if you will, that Obama has backed himself into regarding this incident having not been availed of the proper facts.  I’ve heard it said that there were mostly egos involved that got out of hand.  It is more a case of ONE ego, that of Professor Gates.  As the police reports have stated, Gates became belligerent the moment the white officer (there was also a black and Hispanic officer on the scene, as well) began asking routine questions that one would ask on a B&E (breaking and entering) call (i.e. Is there anyone else in the house? May we look around?, etc.).  These are all standard procedure for a call of this nature.  However, the YALE professor felt it beneath him to be questioned in any manner regarding suspicion of any kind. The “educated” and I believe correct response would have been…”Thank you for coming to my home when called in regard to something this serious. Certainly, you may check around. I’m happy to do whatever I can to help rectify any misunderstanding by the neighbor as well as the police department. In fact, I probably should thank the neighbor for his conscientiousness, as well.”

Instead, he was most likely irritable when the officers arrived, having been absent minded enough to lock himself out of his home. That disgruntled attitude (coupled with a predisposition toward racism as an African Studies Prof.) then manifest itself in the form of indignant arrogance toward an innocent officer who was simply trying to do his job.  In order for this to be even remotely considered racial profiling, Gates would have to have been randomly stopped.  This was a B&E call, plain and simple.  When the officer asked for Gates’ ID, he went ballistic prior to complying with the officer’s request. Then the officer was satisfied and began to leave with the other officers and Gates continued to berate and malign the officer all the way to the front door with racial epithets. The officer warned him to let it go and asked him to stand down.  Gates refused and the officer took out his cuffs and warned him a last time.  Gates, was relentless and as a result was arrested.  The only reason that the charges were dropped, in my opinion, is because not only was race introduced (by Gates) but also, because he is a high profile individual. It’s bad press for the department any way you look at it and the higher ups don’t need Obama’s camp looking down at their fair city.  They had no choice, even though it would have been a simple misdemeanor.

Adding insult to injury, Obama proceeded to call the officer “stupid” without having read even so much as a newsclipping on the incident.  The educated and proper response here, in my opinion, should have been…”I have not read the police report on the incident so, I won’t speculate and will reserve my comments until such time.”  His arrogance wouldn’t let him do that.  Instead, he chose to get out ahead of the situation and make it about defense of a friend over defense of the facts.

In closing, what this said to me is that both Gates and his buddy Barack arrogantly overstated their cases.  It continues to be revealed that Obama has some pretty outspoken friends (Rev. Wright, communist party devotees, etc.).  Being outspoken is not a bad thing in and of itself, mind you.  However, the destructive words of an outspoken person who is not intent on speaking words that teach, heal or inform for the progression and edification of the whole over self…is quite dangerous.  This further indicates to me that birds of a feather flock together. These “friends” of Obama’s that continue to pop up can only cause one to think…Who is the real man beneath the spit and polished President?  Is there an outspoken radical buried someplace deep down in there who thinks that every irresponsible, harsh and divisive situation can be excused and brushed off by simply sitting down and sharing a beer together?  Great idea, until the beer starts talking…then what?  Seriously, though, Obama and other educated black men such as himself have a huge responsibility to speak intelligently to such issues as racism…not perpetuate its destructiveness themsevles by viewing every given incident from a racially-motivate point of view absent of the facts.      

That’s my take.

Benman out!

I’m glad to see that Minnesota weather is finally back to its usual shenanigans. The thunder and lightening this morning was thrilling and the hail was positively titillating - nothing quite so much fun as driving blind, wondering if your windshield is going to crack (for the second time in the month), and the short-lived somewhat splatty interlude of snow that followed was very refreshing in July. My only regret is that a tornado didn’t sneak out of the massive black storm cell above me and touch down in the corn field to my right…I have yet to see a corn field go up in a tornado.

I’m disgusted. What’s more depressing than the economy? What’s more of a bummer than all the people losing their jobs, their homes, their hope, their fucking everything?

I’ll tell you what. Walking down to Stillwater’s infamous FORMERLY FREE Lumberjack Days celebration and seeing it barred shut. Getting a load of the massive quantities of youngsters, huddled in huge groups, loitering, bored, and bummed on every curb just OUTSIDE the chainlink fences and gates barring them from the formerly FREE TO ALL Lumberjack Days celebration. I can’t think of too many teenagers that are going to fork over $10 so that they can then fork over another $5-$6 on the hotdog they were planning on scoring while watching a few interesting acts onstage and looking for familiar faces in the fun, festive, normally packed, sometimes weird, always entertaining crowd.

Teenagers weren’t the only people turning away from the ridiculously prison-like barrage of chain-linkfencing. In case you hadn’t picked up on it, for the first time, they’re charging a $10 cover to get inside what was before, a down-home, local, fun, free, old-fashioned small town annual celebration.

Yeah so it got out of hand when Lynard Skynard played a few years back. Whatever. Bad planning.

Hell, I won’t even pay $10 to get into the State Fair and that’s pretty big-time.

All I have to say is (edit this): City of Stillwater, you just fucked all your Lumberjack Days Vendors in the ASS. Way to stick it to the little guy trying to make a buck.

Major fucking Bummer. Guess I’ll go take my usual hike in a state park - the fee for that is only $25 a YEAR (not counting the $105 fine I had to pay for forgetting to update my annual pass in time.)

What a fucking money grubbing pathetic world we live in. I’m disgusted and ashamed Stillwater. Fucking disgusted. Take your infamous celebration and shove it up your money-grubbing touristy ass.

Damn I’m obsessive. I get a thought in my head and I JUST CAN’T GET IT OUT. So I guess that means I need to turn it over a few times and see what the hell is hiding underneath it.

As usual, it’s a dental lab related event. Damn dental labs. They insist on being the game board upon which everything else in my life is played out - even now that I’m laid off. As an aside, let me say that the day I was laid off I was walking in the clouds, literally high, floating, with a big, dumb, irreversible smile splayed from ear to ear. I was ecstatic, because I thought that Life had finally booted me out of that world and slammed the door shut behind me.

But I guess I’m still hashing shit out.

So here’s the shit. Naturally, after I got laid off I contacted a friend, who owns a lab. He’s the nicest guy ever, but there’s something that’s lodged under my skin, regarding our recent conversations. And it’s all tied up with dental lab technician attitudes.

Here’s the deal in a nutshell: My survival - in life, and everything I do - is to have the attitude that I can damn well do anything I set my mind to. If I didn’t have that attitude, I’d have keeled ages ago. Life demands too much, and I have expectations of how I want to live it. So if you ask me, “are you good?” I’m going to say “yes, of course I’m good,” – or “yes, I can do that.”

I’ve backed that statement up with a fairly young (6+ year) career, which, in many dental tech’s opinions, puts me in the realm of a novice. Which I technically am. But I am good. In my first two years as a dental tech I more than tripled my hourly wage. I was being paid per piece. We had to remake screw-ups for free, so I couldn’t bullshit my way around the pay scale. I either did it right, and did it fast, or I was poor. I was told, (by numerous people in the lab) that my work was some of the best in the department. I’ll take their opinions as good enough proof of my skill.

Since then I’ve improved and broadened my skills, and it’s true, I’m still a beginner, but I’m damn good. That’s it. That’s my stance. And I’m not going to act all falsely modest about it. Yes there are a million better tech’s. And yes, there’s plenty of room for improvement, but there always is as long as we are alive, so why bother saying it? The very statement is, in my opinion, a form of redundancy to anyone who is aware of Life itself.

My problem is that I couldn’t give a good god damn about teeth, or the industry or anything in it. So my “I’m good” attitude is tinged with an wee chip on the shoulder that could very easily come off as arrogance. I could use these same skills to whittle well-crafted piles of poop (including the flies) out of any number of materials, and I think it would be just as much fun to do so.

Arrogance. That’s what this is all about. That’s what’s under my skin.

My friend, on the other hand, IS good. He’s damn good, (although I tend to prefer other types of occlusal anatomy in the molars than his particular style, but that’s a pointless argument. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and who the hell is going to see that occlusal anatomy once the tooth is cemented in there, anyways? I don’t know, maybe a curious girlfriend, or mother…or dental tech.) Anyways…

So his attitude is humbleness. He asserts that, “ah heck, I’m not that good…I’m ok…you know…still learning.” But his teeth are pretty fucking decent. He’s a lab owner who has been in the industry for about thirty years. That’s a lot of practice. It’s true; he is still learning, because we all are, always. But in describing his skill level he uses language that convinces you that he really is some little puny beginner, and you get the idea that he’s kind of open to learning - from you. He’s really good at that act.

So you (as a normal, considerate human being) extend your knowledge and share it with him.

He visits your lab, dressed in the garments of the humble student who is beholden to your vast knowledge in a particular process (not telling you that he also has vast quantities of knowledge in this process, and many other related processes, as well). And while you are busy being the teacher, sharing with him what you know, he’s gleaning knowledge from you about your operation. He quietly observes your strengths, weaknesses, techniques, costs, suppliers, tools, etc., etc., as well as your attitudes, paying close attention to any “bragging” on your part, or any assertions of having any skill whatsoever, and right there in the back of his mind, he packages you, labels you, and puts you upon the appropriate shelf on his mental wall where he stores the arrogant assholes. That is, if you, while sharing your knowledge with him, even suggest that you are a highly skilled technician.

Now, I never asserted to him that I was a highly skilled technician; I only said that I was good. There’s a difference. So this isn’t about me. The above scenario took place in my presence however, and I watched the whole thing play out, even participated in some of the sharing of knowledge, as I was asked. And then, much later, I listened to my friend (quietly, and gently, and with all due subtlety and political correctness) rip the other lab owner sideways for being arrogant. The other lab owner, who spent time sharing their knowledge and techniques to the “humble, beholden student.”

I just don’t like that sort of thing.

Am I being petty? This has been bugging me for more than two weeks. It’s the sole reason I don’t want to talk to him again. Because while he’s acting all falsely modest about his skills, gleaning information from you, he is constantly barraging you with how “great” and “nice” and “friendly” and “quality” and “integrity” his lab is. (Not his skills –mind you, his lab).

I don’t associate this behavior with nice, or friendly or integrity. I call it devious and sneaky, insecure, and in my humble (haha) opinion, arrogant. He’s misrepresenting himself for the purpose of getting something from you. He’s acting like a dummy, while secretly hoarding the knowledge that he (in his opinion) is actually better that you.

Why is this irritating me so much? Is it because I feel I have been accused of being arrogant (but in a very sneaky, subtle way)? Or is it because I think he’s being arrogant, devious, and tricky, and judgmental? Maybe I am being arrogant. I know I’m being judgemental. I don’t know.

Or maybe I’m just not done hating the dental industry.

So, which is more arrogant? The person who “brags”? Who honestly believes and asserts “yeah, I’m good. I’m six years in the business and I’m good at it.”

Or the “humble” expert guy who says, “ah gee heck, I’m ok,” all the while knowing in his mind that he is, in fact, better than you, and all the while secretly disdaining you for being a “braggart”?

This is something that’s been bugging the shit out of me for well most of my life. Old people who think that because they’ve lived 75+ years that a you know everything, that young people today especially teen don’t know jack shit and this is the one that because your my elder i should automatically respect you. Have news for yah I’ll wait while you turn up your hearing aid and scoot your hoverround closer. Respect is earned not given away.

Now let me first start off by saying this doesn’t mean all old people fall into everything I’m talking about but all of you fall into at least one.

Lets start off with two groups of people that are almost identical teens vs old people. These two groups of people are so alike it’s actually funny here’s some examples Old people hate everything because it’s not like it was back then. Teens hate everything because its not cool or its conformo. Both groups of people can run on surprisingly little sleep. Most of them are terrors on the road. Both seem to think they should get respect from the world Teen because they’re so close to adulthood and old people because they’ve been in adulthood so long. Both groups have loads of disposable cash. In fact the only real difference between the two is teens have they’re over protective parents and watchdog congress looking over them and old people have they’re over protective children and watchdog congress looking over them.

Now let’s go another group of old people that make me want to grind my teeth. The ones that resist saying how lazy kids today are. That all they do is leech off their parents they don’t know the value of a real day’s work. Well snowtop you do know that most teens have a part-time job I mean just because you spent 90 hours in the sun drenched tomato fields doesn’t mean the kids of today don’t work. I mean who in the hell thinks serves you your egg Mcmuffin.  One last thing about leeching off of something Social Security and Medicare.

Now on to the ones that really give other seniors a bad name. The ones that think because they’re old they can act anyway they want. Like the one that yells at the semi-mentally handicapped person bagging they’re groceries because they screwed up and put bread on the bottom. Yet this same senior would laugh and chuckle if her granddaughter put bread on the bottom. I have news for you the two people that bagged your items have about the same mental capacity. Or the ones that go to McDonalds and complain about the egg being to hard. Didn’t they realize when they walked in the door where they were and that quality had left the Golden Arches a long time ago. Or when they starts hassling a complete stranger because he wore his baseball cap inside the dinning room of TGI Fridays.

Is it any wonder why I say to seniors you want respect give respect.

Well I think that’s were I’m going to end this post I’ll probably write on about the other end of the spectrum. Yet another group of people that I can do with out TEENS

Coming up with 500 words to say about this is really a bit of a challenge. It’s one of the few things in life that speaks for itself.

Other than the picture that’s being created in this video, if you listen closely to the artist, just about every thing this guy says can be interpreted on a number of levels. Massive metaphor action going on. Really really COOL stuff (in my opinion)

By the way, having a 500 word prerequisite for posting videos is silly as far as I can think - which isn’t usually farther than my point of view, which, at times, can be exhaustingly narrow, limited, misguided, and whatever else (I’m trying to fill the 500 word minimum so I can just post this friggin amazing video already). Fuck 131.

The best things in life have NO words attached to them – that’s why I personally, genuinely and passionately from the very depths of my (rather shallow at times although occasionally a little bit less than shallow at others) heart - Goddamnit – 172. ARRRRGGGHHHH!! – really would like to get that 500 word requirement reduced.

I guess I could try to be all smart and perceptive and actually make an intelligent (or at least attempt to make one) observation of this really incredibly delightfully unusually completely and utterly surprisingly cool video, but I was looking at this video on another site (not youtube) and every single person that commented said less than three words…and in fact, not many of them were actually words per se, but rather, exclamations. ( please Jesus, let me be at 500 words….pretty please because I’m getting really fucking tired of saying nothing about something that is (in my opinion) beyond words….hold on – let me check…..(drumroll)… 291. Shit.

All right fine…I’m no quitter. Fuckit. So this video starts out slow, and you might be tempted to simply shut it down, but if you get past the part that begins to look like a cheesy ad, you very well might be pleasantly surprised with the knowledge of what some people do for fun. I love this guy. Makes me want to take a trip down under (and I’m not talking under the covers or anything else here, although….) Anyways. Hold on one more tiny little second…Damn hell – only 380.

That minimum really should be shortened to 250. Some of us are visual people as well…Can you imagine if they put an essay beside each work of art in museums…? I mean – it kind of ruins the point. But anyways…..423 – wait a minute – that was four hundred twenty three words according to Words wonderful wordcount tool. Love that tool. Yes I do…Alright god Damnitt…where are we at?

So here’s the deal – if you survived reading the shit I just posted in an effort to meet my quota – which I hope to hell you have because this video IS COOL – then good for you…and sorry about all the bullshit…. 491. Close enough (almost)….Thank GOD – one more word. Enjoy!

(Damn - after all that I hope this video shows up in the post)

Sand Dancer

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_L6pDyjqqsvY/Sl4Y4sr5fGI/AAAAAAAAc04/GcLzEjOYTac/s1600-h/healthcare+map.JPG

Lately there have been an increasing number of stories about same-sex marriage in the news. Considering all the coverage about our tanking economy, our screwed foreign policy, dead and dying celebrities, and how perfectly good airplanes are crashing left and right, it wouldn’t be too surprising if a person missed it. But at a time when our country’s divorce rate is hovering around the 50% mark, the fight for gay marriage seems a bit like the ultimate love story. There is a segment of the population that believes so strongly in marriage that they are actually fighting for the right to join the ranks of married people. Given what I have seen of married people lately, I can’t say that I would be fighting for that, er, honor, but to each his own.

I never would have imagined that something like a gay couple who love each other so much that they want to get hitched would unleash such a socio-political brouhaha. And yet, that is exactly what the same-sex marriage debate has become. Legislatures are under pressure to formally declare that marriage is defined as only being between a man and a woman. Outside state offices and courthouses in places that allow gay marriage crowds have gathered, some trying to get their marriage licenses, others chanting that God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

From my standpoint, I believe that the folks against same-sex marriage have every right to ban gay unions in their churches and dislike homosexuals as much as they want to. I don’t like their stance, but, from my understanding of The Bill of Rights, they have the right to think and feel the way they want to about the subject. If they feel there is a solid biblical reason for gays not to marry, fine.

Where I take issue with this, and maybe all my government classes were wrong, is that we in these United States believe in a quirky little thing called the separation of church and state. Oh, and the idea of majority rule while preserving minority rights.

Therefore, I find it difficult to understand why, if the sole stated reasoning against gay marriage is based on a religious interpretation of what a vocal group of Christian supporters believe and understand to be God’s will, our country hasn’t passed an amendment allowing gay marriage on a national level. When did “God says so” become the basis for legislative rulings in a secular nation? Hello, separation of church and state anybody? Anybody?

As I understand it, the national and state governments don’t give a crap about people’s religious beliefs when they get married. That consideration falls to individual denominations and the clerics who represent those denominations if they are asked to officiate a union. All the state (a.k.a. government) cares about is that you are who you say you are, that you are entering this partnership agreement of your own free will, that you are not currently in partnership with anyone else, that you are old enough to enter into a partnership, and that the swearing of this partnership is properly witnessed. You don’t have to be a good person, you don’t have to be caught up on your taxes, you don’t even have to be a citizen, and you certainly don’t have to profess any religious belief to be legally married in the eyes of the state.

Incidentally, if the state didn’t grant clerics the authority to conduct a legally binding contract recognized by said state, then a church marriage ceremony would be nothing more than just that, a religious ceremony. While the religious ceremony may have deep significance on a spiritual, cultural, or social level, without the backing of the state that sanctions the union it is not a legal marriage contract. It would have no more legal clout than a christening ceremony or the Eucharist.

And that is part of this debate that is a major sticking point for me, because it seems like the secular legal decision about who the state will allow to marry is being overwhelmed with religious considerations. I would dearly like to know if there is a non-religious reason to prohibit gay marriage because I have yet to hear one. Is there a constitutional reason to ban same-sex unions? Is this being kept secret somewhere with J. Edgar Hoover’s files? Maybe with Hoover’s lingerie? People want to know.

I find it scary to think that my constitutional rights and freedoms as a citizen of the United States of America are only secure so long as I don’t run afoul of how the Religious Right or any religious majority are interpreting their sacred texts that week. And, I think the Religious Right should find it scary too.

At the moment, the United States likes to consider itself, socially and culturally speaking, a predominantly Christian nation. But that could change. I wonder how this nation’s current religious majority would react to being a minority. If say, conservative Islamic beliefs became the majority, how would Christians react to laws passed about women needing to be veiled in public? What if the witches decided everyone had to have a smudge on their houses? My guess is the Christians would be angry that in a supposedly secular nation claiming to value religious liberty, their rights as citizens could be subjugated because they failed to conform to another group’s religious views.

Rules about religious liberty in this country weren’t set up solely to protect people as they practice their religion, but also to protect citizens from those practicing religion. This is why I think it is scary to create legal precedence for using religion and religious beliefs as a basis for determining who has what rights under the law. But then, it probably looks different if you are in the group that gets to do the subjugating.

But that is not my only concern in the gay-marriage debate. There’s also the problem with gay marriage measures failing when they are presented to the voters, sending the message, “Homosexuals don’t deserve to marry because the majority of voters say so. So there. No take backs and no whammies.”

You mean a disinterested group of voters don’t give a rat’s ass about the rights of a minority? Gee, couldn’t see that one coming. When has that ever happened in American history? I mean, other than the peculiar institution of slavery that flourished in the south, the people accused and executed for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts, the gross mistreatment of Native Americans all over the country for a few centuries, the fact that women didn’t have the same voting rights as their male counter parts until the 20th century, the Japanese internment camps of WWII, and the Jim Crow laws in the south that prevented blacks from being able to vote. Yeah, other than those few, isolated cases, when has a majority in America ever failed to do what is right by a minority?

Is denying someone a right under the law permissible if a majority of voters think it is okay? If that is true, then pretty much most of the mob actions throughout the history of the world would be justified with a “might-makes-right” argument. French aristocrats, European Jews, Christians in ancient Rome, sucks to be you, but we took a vote and you don’t get to live. Rest assured, we got a majority.

And there is also all this flap that gay-unions will ruin the sanctity of marriage. Really? Gay folks will do that? Because it seems that heterosexuals were doing a pretty good job of ruining marriage’s sanctity all on their own.

Irrespective of religious beliefs, for the sake of argument let’s say marriage is something sanctioned by God. And let’s assume that He created and sanctioned marriage for the support and mutual happiness of both parties because, as I read it, men and women were created equal before God. So, that begs the question, how have we done?

Under the heterosexual reign marriage has frequently been a tool of patriarchy rather than partnership, marriage has historically been used to cement political alliances (Queen Victoria so successfully pimped out her children that almost all the royal houses in Europe were related by their hemophiliac blood or marriage), and marriage was also used to transfer and procure wealth and titles.

Because I’m sure that’s why God created marriage, so Ferdinand and Isabella could unite Spain, oust the Moors, conduct the Spanish Inquisition, and rape the New World.

But what about the marital miseries of ordinary heterosexuals? Most people know of at least one marriage marred by domestic abuse. How sanctified is it to hit someone after vowing to love, honor, and cherish that person? One friend told me she endured her husband beating her on a regular basis for more than twenty years because she had been taught that divorce went against the Bible.

Then there’s infidelity, plenty of that in the straight world. Really, I think nothing says sanctity like screwing someone else (possibly several someones) after vowing before God, man, and the state to devote yourself to just one person. And, in addition to the massive betrayal of trust and all the deceit, there is also the fact that it can expose a partner to serious risk for contracting STDs.

But even without domestic assault and infidelity, there is still plenty of divorce because of apathy, antagonism, and incompatibility. Seems like you don’t have to look too far to find one of those couples who never should have gotten married and seem to stay together only because it is the most convenient way to make one another miserable. Not too surprising considering how often people marry for reasons other than love, mutual respect, and wanting to build a life together. One guy told me his girlfriend’s great idea for solving their relationship problems was to get married. Yup, “We don’t get along so what we really need to do is get hitched. That will solve everything.”

Oh, and then there are the people who kill their spouses. That may be for a variety of reasons like abuse, anger over cheating or betrayal, not wanting to give the other person a divorce, life insurance money, and pregnancy. Yeah it is kind of creepy that the leading cause of death for pregnant women is murder, frequently at the hands of the baby’s father—and some of these victims are married women (like Lacy Peterson), not just baby-mamas.

It is sad that some of the most crushing betrayals, callous abuses, and apathetic treatment of a person’s life may be perpetrated by the person who vowed to love, honor, and cherish them, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as they both shall live. How much less sanctified could marriage get? It begs the question, What could gay people possibly do to taint marriage that straight people haven’t already done?

I’m not claiming that there aren’t good marriages out there, the sort that live up to all the hype about love and respect and partnership and don’t leave people miserable, betrayed, battered, or dead. I’m simply illustrating that marriage is not a perfect, pristine institution that is going to get its first blemish if homosexuals get to marry.

Now, if I found some willing guy we could head off to Vegas and be married before midnight and that would be completely legal (regardless of our blood alcohol levels or how long we’d known each other or our religious beliefs) and, according to the religious arguments I’ve heard, blessed by God—even if it was officiated by Elvis. But I’d like to imagine that if things were different and that my right to marry was in the hands of the voting public and a twitchy legislature more concerned with re-election than doing the right thing, that my rights as a citizen would be more important than caving to the prevailing religious belief. And, I would hope that other citizens could acknowledge my rights without having to approve of my lifestyle, like me, or even know me. But I guess that’s the problem with being a daydream believer. Who knew the Constitution was the impossible dream?

This is a very difficult question, especially in these hard times, when every other person is also laid off. But I’ve come up with some good ideas.

The first thing you do is CELEBRATE the fact that you’re not going to have to kiss THAT bastard’s ass anymore. (even if THAT bastard was sometimes, or even most of the time a pretty nice bastard.).

The second thing is very important: Call everyone you know that works in your industry and tell them that you’re laid off and ask them if they know any other companies in your industry that are hiring.

The third thing you do is even more important. PRAY like hell that they aren’t hiring…so you will have the perfect excuse not to go back to THAT fucked up hellhole.

Next, you make a list of the companies that are NOT hiring.

The fourth (this can be switched out with the first, if you chose) is: FILE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT. The list of companies that you just made will be the first ones you call in your job search.

After accomplishing those few things, it’s a snap. Take a nice long walk and enjoy your TIME and FREEDOM. (They might not last nearly long enough).

Talk to the flowers (or vegetables) in your garden, and tell them all about it. It’s o.k. to cry – they won’t tell…especially the vegetables. Vegetables are particularly adept at keeping secrets.

Make a bowl of Crispy Coated Coffee Ice cream Flakes. This is the true breakfast of champions - a cereal they have not yet come out with. The recipe for this is really quite simple and the end result is thoroughly satisfying. Get some coffee ice cream (it’s ok if you just quit drinking coffee three or four weeks ago – coffee ice cream doesn’t count as coffee, and beside, it’s special occasion). Scoop it into a very large bowl using a teaspoon, so that you get “ice cream flakes”. Pour milk over the ice cream until the bowl is full. Let sit for about one minute or less, depending on how long you can hold out; this gives the ice cream flakes they’re uniquely “crispy” texture and transforms that bowl of sugar hell into one of the most satisfying bowls of cereal you will ever eat (or drink, depending on your preference).

When you are done, go online and update your resume, scan the job listings, watch a few youtube videos, apply to a college. Prepare yourself to lose everything (it won’t hurt quite so much if you prepare in advance).

And, most importantly. Think about what is truly important. Beyond the job, the house, the car, the fancy clothes and perfect manicure, it’s the people you love. And fortunately, your boss (ex-boss) can’t take those away from you. Unless he also happens to be your ex, in which case you might need another bowl of Crispy Coated Coffee Ice Cream Flakes and a baseball bat.

P.S. I just got laid off yesterday and I can’t quite explain it, but it’s the best I’ve felt in a DAMN long time.

P.P.S. …we’ll see how long that lasts.