These new tobacco taxes are really burning me up. I know there are those of you that engage in fist pumps and victory dances every time a new tax is slapped on us evil smokers, but enough-is-enough. I wonder if you would feel the same way if taxes, comparable to those levied on smokers, were tacked onto red meat (high in cholesterol), chocolate (diabetes and obesity) and any car that does better than 35 mph (you could always take the bus); all in the name of a national health initiative.

Let me put this in (my) perspective. I have worked, and paid my way in society since the age of 16; about 30 years. I have contributed my share to healthcare, Social Security, and taxes in general. I am not a criminal. I don’t do drugs, abuse children or drive drunk. I have been a teacher most of my career, and I give back to society by sharing my knowledge with those that choose to listen. I try to be the best friend I can, to help those I can, and to be as understanding as I can. I have never (knock-on-wood) broken a bone, had a major surgery, or even spent a night in the hospital. As I see it, I have caused noone’s healthcare to increase. As a matter of fact, I have probably spent more on health insurance than I have recieved in benefits. I am also a smoker. I have chosen to smoke for 25 years on-and-off. So why should I be punished with exhorbitant taxes? Is it because smoking is a choice?

Here’s a news flash. Smokers are not the only people that choose to drive up the cost of healthcare. We all pay higher healthcare costs for those people that contract AIDS due to promiscuous behavior. Isn’t unprotected promiscuity a choice? They willingly participate in activities that could result in contracting a fatal disease. They are not victims (except in rare instances). So why aren’t promiscuous people forced to pay higher taxes to continue their behavior?  I’ll wager I become very unpopluar by making that statement. I’ll be accused of bigotry and homophobia well before someone will come up with a legitimate argument as to why that isn’t a valid comparison.

I am not about to engage in the statistics surrounding the amount of money it costs to keep someone on an iron lung because they chose to smoke all their life. I am not completely unsympathetic to the idea that taxpayers, in some cases, get stuck with the bill for keeping someone alive with an illness linked to tobacco usage. I would be intelectually dishonest to think otherwise. But why are smokers the only group of consumers that are repeatedly targeted with the chore of lowering healthcare costs for everyone else? 

If you ask me, we all need to be responsible for our behavior. That means both sides of an action; forethought and aftermath. If everyone would just take care of their own business, Uncle Sam wouldn’t have to make it his.

I was going to flame off about the ridiculous Hauser (cancer kid) chase but it’s too infuriating. Honestly, if I had cancer, or if my children did, I’d be heading to Mexico as well - there’s a Cancer Treatment Center down there and I’d give that a shot before I blasted myself (or my kids) with chemo. Chemo kills everything. If you’re lucky, you’ll survive. People die from chemo on a regular basis.

Oops wait a minute. I wasn’t going to flame off. So I’m so sick of news, and people and stupidity and fucking everything human (almost) because we’re so pathetically fucked up. We’re hopelessly ignornat - that’s all there is to it. Damn there I go again.

So, for a change ( a real change - not Obama’s BS) I went on a hike to my MOST favorite place in the world, with my daughters and check it out. We missed this little guy the first time past, but the second time I just happened to look down and what an incredible suprise! I’ve seen a lot of really cool shit hiking, experienced some amazing things camping, but I’ve never seen such a pretty little thing as this. (hope this uploads ok; if not I’ll put it on my website)

I may not look it, not fit the profile, but deep within me beats the heart of a rabid football fan. Don’t let my affection for Jane Austen books and goat cheese fool you, I mark time by training camp, preseason, regular season, and off season. After the Superbowl and Pro Bowl, I go into a football withdrawal marked by generalized depression and loss of interest in life in general until the NFL Draft in the spring. And the object of all my affection is the Minnesota Vikings. What can I say, I love not too wisely, but too well.

So today, on May 14, 2009, my soul is on edge. Too melodramatic? Okay, I’m apprehensive. The fate of the famed Williams Wall is on the line in court today and I’m desperately trying to understand why the hell no one thought to organize a candlelight vigil for them last night.

Today the StarCaps saga that started when several NFL players tested positive for bumetanide last summer, is hitting another milestone (a.k.a. the fan) as they argue in a hearing in St. Paul. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that Judge Paul Magnuson rules in favor of the players.

Last season Vikings fans held their collective breath and feared the worst when it came out that Pat and Kevin Williams, our Pro Bowl defensive linemen, tested positive for a banned substance that is associated with masking steroids. The Williams boys and three players from the New Orleans Saints were slapped with a four game suspension by the league and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell preened like he was a bad-ass mamba-jamba, talking about the league’s zero tolerance policy for steroids and related substances. Bumetanide, associated with masking steroids in drug tests, was found in the players’ drug tests and they were guilty.

More than once I found myself whining “Say it ain’t so!” and saw my team’s season swirl down the crapper. The affable, hard-working Williamses were dopers. It was like a veil had been drawn over the sun. But I had underestimated the umbrage and tenacity of the Williams Wall–and just how screwy the whole scandal was. Kevin and Pat Williams were determined to clear their names. Not known for caving under pressure (as anyone who saw their brilliant goal-line stand in their home game against Chicago last year can testify) they felt they were in the right and decided to fight for their reputations. They claimed they took StarCaps to lose weight and had no idea that bumetanide was one of the ingredients. Had they known that the supposedly all-natural StarCaps contained a banned substance they would not have taken them. However, since the league knew and did not tell the players, it was on.

I have gleefully imagined that moment when Roger Goodell, at home reclining in a leather chair and swirling brandy in a Waterford snifter to the strains of Mozart, finds out that the linemen lawyered up and are going to fight their suspension. In my fantasy version of this revelation, Goodell throws the snifter into his fireplace in a fit of rage, and storms around shouting about how they are just big, dumb linemen and who do they think they are coming after him. They’re linemen, they’re supposed to do what I say! However, that is just the work of my overactive imagination. More likely, Goodell had to know this would be messy.

And, so far, it hasn’t disappointed. Shoot, this is the legal equivalent of some good, old-fashioned mud-wrestling. St. Paul judge Paul Magnuson gave the players a temporary injunction that enabled them to finish their season, a season that saw my Vikings on top of their division for the first time in a long time. The Vikings’ success was made possible in large part by a defensive line that was one of the stingiest in the league against the run. Now that the season is over Pat and Kevin Williams are back in court to hash it out and prepare for trial.

Having avidly read about this from the start, I’m really hoping that the NFL gets smacked and it isn’t just because my imagination conjured up a snide Roger Goodell in a smoking jacket as the villan. The NFL knew, KNEW, that StarCaps had bumetanide in them as early as November 2006 despite the fact that bumetanide was not listed anywhere in the ingredients. Dr. Brian Finkle, an NFL toxicologist, discovered the bumetanide present in StarCaps and had toxicologist Dennis Crouch of the University of Utah further test StarCaps for the presence of bumetanide. The findings showed that not only was bumetanide present, it was in concentrations high enough to meet or exceed the prescribed dosage.

This is the part that I found especially interesting—bumetanide is prescribed by doctors to patients with congestive heart failure and renal disease. We’re not talking about a caffeine tablet here, we’re talking about a prescription drug with serious side-effects used to treat life-threatening disease. I realize that I’m not a toxicologist or a physician, but it seems to me that when you discover that a popular weight-loss supplement, claiming to be natural, is spiked with dangerously high levels of a prescription drug, that is the kind of thing that should be made known to players, not in vague, broad, nonspecific language, but specifically and explicitly. Anything less seems like gross negligence with regard to player safety. That’s right, this is a matter of player safety so the league’s bitchy little line about it being the players’ responsibility to know what they were putting in their bodies seems waspish and petty—especially when there was no way for the players to know the supplement contained bumetanide. After all, it isn’t as if bumetanide was on the label, or players who called the league hotline were told not to take StarCaps because they contained bumetanide, or the league made the research they had about StarCaps containing bumetanide available to the players.

So today I’m thinking of Pat and Kevin Williams and I’m admiring just was how gutsy they were to tell the NFL exactly what they could do with that four-game suspension. It would have been so much easier to quietly take a suspension and put this all behind them, but they felt that their reputation was more valuable. Go Pat and Kevin!

* Facts for this post were taken from articles in the St. Paul Pioneer Press. Brian Murphy is brilliant.

Here’s another batch of morons that I can do without

The people that think Walgreen’s is a place to do major shopping. It’s not it’s a fucking conviance store/PHARMACY! It’s a place where sick people go to get prescriptions filled and maybe get some Gatorade. Why is that every time I’m sick I’m always stuck behind some bubble assesd woman who decided to buy 24 margarita glasses. And the cashier is some 90 year old lady that’s taking five minutes to wrap each one even though the fucking things are plastic. Then usually if I’m lucky the customer will pay with a card if not they’ll ask if they can pay with a check even though there at least two signs saying we don’t accept checks! People get your major shopping done at a major store, or at least a store that’s for dishes or whatever. Walgreen’s is a store to run in and grab a few items you forgot but mostly it’s where sick pissed off people go to get mounds of drugs to get them better.

People that pay with a check - Oh my god! do these people piss me off to no end! Do these people not know that checks take for fucking ever to write! For me personally they always screw the hell out of my balance sheet because I’ve waited damn near a month before the check cleared and was taken out of my account. Now paying bills with them is one thing. Personally I don’t know why anyone doesnt do bill pay but if you don’t have a computer. But going to a store and using them irks me to no end! Folks you have this thing called a CHECK CARD!!!!!!!! IT’S A LOT FASTER!!!!!!!!!! Then some of these morons will reply “Well I’m old fashioned and I like my checks” (These old-fashioned people can be like 22 at times)  I scream back “IT’S CALLED PROGRESS! WE USED TO GET AROUND WITH THE HOARSE AND CART BUT WE DON’T DO THAT ANYMORE!”

People that blame McDonald for their massive weight gain. We all know people like this hell might even have a friend like this. They’re overweight and know it’s getting harder for them to do things or the health problems are starting to come around. Do they take personnel responsibility for it and go to the gym or take a walk or hell just eat a fucking salad NO! They end up saying it’s not my fault I can’t fit into a elevator anymore or that I can’t fit into a airplane seat It’s McDonalds, Burger Kings or Wendy’s fault. they usually say this while stuffing a Big Mac in their faces. My question to them is did anyone put a gun to your head and force you to get the three cheeseburgers. NO! I think that they put their hands on the steering wheel, drove to the Golden Arches and ordered the three Big Macs Didn’t they.

There probably will be a part three to this but that’s all I can think of for the moment

Why is it that when I go to well any public place I’m just assaulted by groups of people that piss me off. Here are a few

The New Age Family - These wonderful groups of people are the people that have to make sure that everything they buy is a reflection of their family’s values and all I want to do is scream in their face “IT’S A PACK OF FUCKING OREOS! IT DOESN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT YOU! MAYBE THAT YOU LIKE COOKIES!” Or at the very least not hold the family meeting in the middle of the aisle so that I can get by please.

The Ultra Religious Family - I’m fine with these people’s beliefs, I just don’t care. The only thing that I ask of them is to 1 not hand me a pamphlet for any reason. 2 Would they please refrain from singing “Jesus loves me” while they’re shopping for tube socks, it’s creepy.

People that stand there and look at simple basic things for 20 minutes. I’ll give you an example the dorky guy that looks at something like Peanut Butter or Eggs for 20 minutes. Don’t you just want to run up to them and scream “It’s peanut butter it all tastes the same! Buy the one you bought last week or buy the one on sale!” That’s how I make my decision when I buy beer. either Budweiser, Michelob or Coors will be on sale. Guess which one I pick.

The Family that all dresses the same. You’ve seen these people I’m sure. Usually they’re on their way to a family reunion or some event and they stop for let’s say Noodle Salad. While their standing in line i want to walk over and say you know you guys look like four jackasses with you “Miller Family Reunion 09″ t-shirts and the 8 pounds of noodle salad from a grocery store. Why couldn’t you just put the shirts on when you got there. You know put them over your normal everyday t-shirt save yourslef a little humliation.

I think there’s going to be a part two

That’s all for now

Warcorpse

Colon cleanse.  Colon hydrotherapy.  Colonoscopy.  Scary words because nobody wants to talk about their colons or what comes out of them.  The colon will not be ignored, no matter how we try to not listen.  Here’s a well known parable in the health-care world:

One day the body organs got together and decided to have a meeting to determine WHO WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE BODY.

    The BRAIN was the first to speak. “Without me, you couldn’t think and nothing would be accomplished.”

    Then the HEART spoke up. “Well, I pump blood to your brain, so without me, you could not function, Mr. Brain!”

 The ARMS laughed. “You’re both wrong. If I didn’t put food in the mouth, you both would starve.”

The STOMACH said, “Without me, your food would not digest!”

The LUNGS bellowed back, “Without us, neither of you would get oxygen.”

The EYES blinked, “Without us, you could not see.”

The KIDNEYS snorted, “Without us, you could not detoxify.”

Then the COLON meekly spoke up. “I am important. You need me to eliminate all of the garbage from ALL of your systems.”

Everyone laughed and made fun of him. “How can you be as important as we are? You’re just a smelly old sewer.”

The poor colon - His feelings were hurt! He turned away and decided, “I’ll show them!”

Then, HE SHUT DOWN!…and sat back and watched what happened.

The BRAIN was stupefied.

The HEART’s beat was weak and irregular.

The ARMS were weak and couldn’t move.

The LUNGS - gave in to shallow breathing.

The EYES became clouded.

The KIDNEYS quit.

The COLON looked around and decided it was time to call another meeting in order to save the human. It wasn’t too lively this time, but everyone was in total agreement that all of their functions were dependent on the health and consistency of the colon. 

If you go to the dentist, bathe regularly, and wash your clothes, why not cleanse your colon?  (Shameless pitch for better health below)

www.mynsp.com/fitnessfewel  Search: colon cleanse

You know I can’t believe how lazy most people have gotten. What’s even more amazing is the fact that they can come up with thousands of excuses as to justify spending more time on the couch! Even the people that supossedly have “healthy lifestyles” are still lazy as hell. On that note how in the hell can you have a healthy lifestyle and eat everything OUT OF A BOX!

People that say that they don’t have time to cook are well just full of it! They are everyone has time to cook, they don’t because they want to be lazy. Hey that’s fine with me just admit it and we can move on. That’ll never happen because these people are nothing if not masters of excuses. At work one time I got a person I work with to a lovely shade of vermilion just by calmly proving and re-proving to her every time that yes she did in fact have time to cook.

I’ll prove it here to! Let’s take a average American family Husband Wife and let’s say three kids. The kids are Billy 12, Jamie 10 and Kerry 7 just for the sake of argument oh and both of the parents work. Let’s also say that each of the three kids are involved with three extracurricular activities each. Because the parents have that annoying trend of making sure that their kids experience everything. Even though the child has never once expressed ANY interest in any of the activities.

Now through the week I’ll stipulate that yes there really isn’t enough time to cook breakfast. Fourtunatly Cheerios are pretty healthy. On the weekends however you should always have time for a real breakfast.

So let’s say that the dad starts work at seven in the morning and works till three so he can be home when the kids get home Mom on the other hand works from 9 to 6. So the kids trottle off to school and the school day ends. However Billy has little league right after school and the other two come home on the bus. At 4 Jamie has dance class and at 4:30 Kerry has karate. Then Dad has to rush over to the school and get Billy so he can be at Piano class at 5:00. Then it’s back to pick up Jamie and Kerry and take both of them to pottery class. Mom picks up Billy and Dad gets high on terracotta fumes. The family is back with each other at I’ll say 6:30. Pretty busy day right. Now one of them we’ll either open up a box for dinner or stop at KFC or Boston Market or at worst Burger King. When asked why didn’t they cook they’ll say we didn’t have time. By the schedule you’d think they were right well their not!

There’s at least two to three opportunities to cook something far healthier than out of a box. First off the morning Mom could get up and put something like a roast or a chicken in a slow cooker for the day and it’d be ready by the time you got home. Don’t worry a slow cooker is designed to be left on even when your not there. Another great thing to make is Slow-Cooker Chili. Then with just a few vegetables that would take about 10 minutes they’d have dinner at 6:40 OR when they all get back do something that every family should do and that’s make dinner together. Billy Jamie and Kerry can each do a job in the kitchen. If you do that most meals can be done in 30 minutes. And their eating a fresh healthy meal at seven. 2 hours to digest and its off to bed at nine. My how hard was that.

If you want go check out www.warcorpse666.blogspot.com for my growing list of recipes

I haven’t had time to think lately, let alone write, but I have to say this: Will everyone just shut the hell up about this d*mn pig flu BS? Stop your d*mn ignorant panicking and find some answers. Here’s one that might work, from my favorite let’s-all-calm-down-there’s-no-need-to-panic book by Lalitha Thomas, “10 Essential Herbs”:

“COLDS AND FLU If one or two cups are used each day as a tonic, Yarrow can often prevent a cold or flu from “getting you”. So if there is a cold or flu going around your neighborhood, don’t sit idly by and wait for the symptoms to start. Try Yarrow as a preventative.

Although Yarrow is usually strong enough on its own, also review the uses of garlic, chaparral and Ginger for help with colds and flu symptoms. A Ginger bath can take the ache out of your body while Garlic and Chaparral are potent antibiotics when that it needed.”

A ginger bath is an incredible way to relax and detox. Simply pour a handful of powdered ginger into a hot bath and soak. Don’t waste your money buying prepackaged herbs. You’re spending $5 on the packaging and 2 cents on the actual herbs. Get them (and anything else like the above-mentioned Yarrow tea) at health food stores, or in the health section of regular stores. You can also pour a big scoop of ginger powder into a cup of hot water and drink like tea - that’ll burn the hell out of anything trying to get you.

You know I know that most people walk around life with a half confused look on their faces barely aware their alive. perfectly content to just go with the flow and stay with the status quo. Still why isn’t the American people outraged at our President! I mean what’s it going to take huh? For him to totally bankrupt the country or give Iran the plans for the stealth bomber to Iran. Would that finally wake some of you up.

Some of you are awake and that’s great the other 90% of you is what I’m concerned about. When we elected Obama to office he came in with the attitude of we need a new way of doing business and we need change. Well in less than a hundred days he’s spent more than all the other presidents put TOGETHER! and is repeatedly using the tried and true democrat spend, spend, spend method. Have we as an American people bothered to say ”Uh Mr. President where’s all this moeny going? Do you really need this much?” Or most importantly ”How in the hell are we going to pay all of this back?” Have we said that HELL NO! We’re to busy trying to guess who the next American Idol is.

Then there’s the foreign diplomats. I’m not talking about him bowing to the Saudi king. That was a show of respect in the man’s country and considering Obama wants to tramp trough his backyard looking for the Taliban then we should show the ruler of the country a little respect. That’s just how I feel. Shaking hands with bloodthirsty dictators on the other hand is not that good of a sign. Most of you didn’t bother to express concern with this though why because it didn’t make the six o’clock news. It only appeared in the paper.

Then there’s the job market that no one can find a new one or they’re scared of losing the one they have. All the while the owner or BOD keeps getting to slash salaries and benefits and the employees just take it because “Be happy you at least have a job” has become an acceptable norm! Why hasn’t anyone gotten mad over this broken promise. Didn’t Obama say he’d create jobs and improve the ones that are out there. Well he’s spent 2 trillion and jobless claims keep going UP! 2 trillion dollars and I haven’t seen job one come around as a result! Yet still most of us just keep going along thinking that things will work out

I have news for all you people happily living your life in a semi-coma IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK OUT! Not until the majority of American citizens turn off the TV or wake up and calmly ask the president “Uh Mr. President excuse me sir but just what in the hell are you doing with all this money!”

Warcorpse

I am in dire need of a camping trip. Right NOW I need my favorite camping spot and a tornado. I’d settle for a good, hardcore thunderstorm though. There’s nothing like camping in flat line winds – or a tornado – to level out your mind and put things in perspective.

And right now nothing is in perspective. I’m tired of politics. F**king pirates now? Gee and I was just getting comfortable with the idea of terrorists. I’m tired of the economy. I’m tired of this country. I’m tired of all the stupid f**king people running around acting like stupid f**king people. I hate every politician that ever lived. I hate paying taxes. I hate feeding those fat pigs’ faces. Even Obama. I’m tired of stress, tired of bills, tired of problems, tired of laws, tired of cops EVERYWHERE, tired of people, tired of myself, tired of putting out fires, tired of EVERYTHING Damnitt and I DON’T want to pay my car insurance. Bastard insurance companies. F**king bastards from hell, all of them.

I want to go camping in a tornado. Everyone should try it. I’ve actually never been camping in a tornado, but one touched down just south Afton State Park when I was there last summer. Oh my God it was INCREDIBLE. It’s hard to describe the experience of being that close to the fury of nature. When it gets TOTALLY still and heavy and and black and you’re all alone on that high plateau…and all you can think is, “Oh my God this could be a tornado.” Just me and the tornado, all alone to hash out matters of life and death face to face. (I almost peed my pants). I almost hid in the portapoddy, (when I finally reached it after running frantically for what seemed like hours trying to find my way back to the campsite). I’m glad I didn’t. I would have missed one of the most beautiful thunderstorms I’ve ever seen.

And then there’s the time at Lake Elmo Park Reserve when I happened to pitch my tent right in the path of flat-line winds. I didn’t know there were going to be flat-line winds. They just sprung up out of nowhere. (Had to sleep in my car that night.) My tent disappeared just three minutes after I ditched it for the car. I turned on the radio to one of those call-in programs, heard someone calling in from St. Paul saying he just saw his neighbor’s roof come off, and then my tent was gone. There’s nothing quite like seeing your tent right there, and then seeing it gone. No scooting-across-the-campsite-on-it’s-way-to-somewhere-else. Just…abracadabra gone. I had some pretty heavy stuff in that tent too…a cooler full of beverages…Crazy. I swear to God that wind almost blew my car away. It was shuddering violently from the blast of it. And it was a damn volvo station wagon. Not some wimpy little plastic thing on wheels. I finally had to take some Tylenol pm. I figured if I was going to die it was going to d*mn well be in my sleep.

Well, I lived and the next day I counted at least ten trees – some of them a foot in diameter or more, snapped in half. If you’re stressing about paying a bill, believe me, you won’t be in flat-line winds.

I don’t know. I just want to turn the page and be somewhere else. I’m tired of this page in my life. It’s getting really hellish, boring and stressful. Turn page, damnitt. NOW.