Yes a man who was light years ahead of his time penned this opening to one of the MOST influential documents ever written in history.

Sadly, today this means nothing to the elected officials governing our once great country. No it didn’t start sliding downhill when the Novelty Obama-nation uttered the statement, “We live in the greatest country in the world; help me change it, but that non hacker sure as fuck hasn’t HELPED things out a whole lot has he?

Motherfuckers (and father fuckers for you ladies who feel left out when I say it) Are lining up to defend this shitbird with statements like “No one can expect him to deliver on all of his campaign promises”. Then WHY the FUCK was he elected by a majority vote? If it doen’t matter what they say, why aren’t we picking a President’s name out of a fucking Fez? (Yeah a turban would just be a freaking hand towel with a bunch of clumps of paper inside it wouldn’t it?)

I’m getting off track here. HEALTH CARE for ALL should be FOR all not just one for us and one for them. I’f I’m having their shit crammed down my throat then at least tell me that they are getting the same lack of condiments that I am. REGULATIONS and REFORM are what the current System needs and not a Socialist, Eastern Block replacement for it.

While we’re at it, lets think about this. Nancy Pelosi and the fucking DNC is all over this shit about Leveling out the WEALTH of the nation. Lets call this what it REALLY is. They want You and I to be in the poorest 85% of the nation so THEY can be in the RICHEST 15% (if they will allow that many people to be as “privileged” as they are for being good enough to get you fucking moronic, mouth breathing masses to vote them into office.

“From Each According to His Abilities and To Each According to His Needs” is the mantra that these fuckaholics are chanting and the Public is chewing that up like it is a NEW concept. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov brought forth REFORM via these means in a little place that used to be called Russia with these EXACT words.

The FIRST thing that these radicals who wish to infringe upon OUR Inalienable Rights do is to take away the guns of the people that they wish to enslave.

Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

This was written by men who had to shed blood to have the right to protect themselves from all enemies Foreign AND Domestic.

Hitler immediately took away every gun from the Jews and I hope you fucking idiots do remember what happened to them during his rise to power. NOW the Democrats have sought to take guns out of the hands of the people for many years and they always come back to the same thing. They SAY it is for OUR own good so that “Criminals” cannot get their hands on guns to harm us. WAKE THE FUCK UP. They are the criminals that wish to enslave YOU and make you work so that you get just enough to get by and they get MORE than they can possibly expect their grandchildren to be able to spend. if GUNS are so BAD, why are these people all Guarded by agents who have them?

AGAIN… WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! Our society is being dumbed down by the lack of a true Education System. Our Wages and Income are being attacked, we are being led like lambs to the slaughter and the apathy and brainwashing that our leaders MUST be right just because they hold that position is sickening.

We are soon going to need a Revolution to get the Government out of our wallets, schools, and privacy of our own bedrooms because the MASSES can no longer think for themselves or ask the simple questions and react to the answers that are given to them rather than just going with the flow.

I can no longer sit idly by and watch the destruction of the greatest nation in the world. Who has the guts to speak out with me?

You know every time that I walk in a various stores there are behaviors that people exhibit that I just can’t get. I mean I thought that humans were the smartest beings on the planet. But walk into any retail store and you’ll start to question that claim. Here are some examples.

The people that thinks it’s fine to hold a conversation in the middle of the damn aisle - You’ve had this happen I’m sure were you’re walking down the aisle behind someone when a friend of theirs pops around the corner and the person in front of you stops and starts talking to their friend or relative. Now you have to try and either get their attention to move aside or go to other side of the aisle or just be rude as hell and tell them to get the hell out of your way.

I mean don’t these people realize they’re blocking traffic and causing everyone else to be inconvenienced. Can’t they take this all important conversation to another aisle in the store. Like a less populated off aisle not the heavily crowded main goddamn aisle to have their twenty minute chat. Didn’t every one’s mom teach them about common courtesy

The people that just shop while their kid is screaming his head off. You’ve had this happen your trying to enjoy your shopping and all of the sudden the peace is destroyed by  a kid screaming to the top of his lungs. And what are the dumb shit parents doing about it not a goddamn thing! There just content to zone it out and continue shopping while the rest of the store gets a goddamn migraine. You know what I urge everyone to do in that situation go up to the parents and scream right in their faces give it back to them a little.

The parents that are totally unaware when their children are running around in circles and getting into trouble. You know every single mammal species on earth watches their offspring. Well except for one US. How many times have you had to dodge a couple of kids as they run all over the damn store knocking shit over while their parents are looking at Giggly Grape Juice three aisles over. The only thing that puzzles me about these parents is the fact that most of them still wonder what can we do to protect our kids from abduction. Here’s a thought WATCH THEM! DON”T LET THEM RUN THREE AISLES AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People that watch the total screen like a hawk - Now with the recession on I can understand pinching pennies. But trust me that three cents you may have been over charged isn’t going to make a damn bit of difference. I hate it when I’m behind people like this Usually its some mom with three kids and another on the way. She sits there carefully watching the total placing each item on the belt one at a time making sure that each thing is ringing exactly. Then something doesnt and it’s off by a matter of a few pennies. She stops and demands that the price be corrected. So now everyone behind her has to wait and usually she’ll stop putting stuff on the belt while this is going on. So after five minutes the price gets corrected Thank God she didn’t spend the extra pennies. Then the check out will resume and everyone hoping that there won’t be another discrepancy.

Well guess what you’ve just made me and everyone else in line wait. You’ve probably made at least one of us late for something all so you could say “Wow I really saved today!” I have news for you that little amount you saved will not save the family farm and also  if you save three pennies a day guess what you have at the end of the year you’d have a whole 10.95 WOW That’ll get you to DisneyLand!

Well I’m sure I’ll have a part two of this at some point

Warcorpse

Yep, and if you believe that, you probably still leave milk and cookies out for Santa Clause every year too. Whoever the fuck came out with this saying must have been a fucking masochist because all telling the truth does is gets you in MORE trouble.

“Why yes Officer, I was aware that I was speeding through that school zone. I was paying more attention to where the fuck that joint I dropped went than I was to the speed limit.” and the fucker will have you out of the car, face down on the pavement shining his jack boots up on the back of your skull. You react with complete astonishment and go, “Oh My God, the accelerator stuck and I couldn’t get the thing into neutral before it took off like it had been fired out of a Howitzer.” He gives you that look like he knows you’re full of shit and says that he’ll cut you a break and only write the ticket for doing 75 in a 35 zone. “Consider yourself lucky, because in this state anything thirty miles over the posted limit is an arrest able offense and those always come with a heaping helping of nightstick and Taser surprise.

Cops just love to tell the stories that the offender comes out with while they are throwing down a shitload of Budweiser and Jim Beam after work. Who really wants to hear about the guy that confessed to running a stop sign and speeding through the neighborhood when the one about the guy that was getting road head and swerved out in front the cruiser is much more colorful?

They say that honesty is what makes a relationship work also. I have to tell you that is complete bullshit. Only a woman would say for you to be honest, because then she will have shit to bring up in every fight you ever have from here to eternity. Fidelity makes a relationship work. Honesty goes right the fuck out the window when your woman asks, “Does this make me look fat?” If you say anything but, “I don’t think the weatherman said anything about rain at all today, Honey.” You are about to get your fucking ears torn apart from the inside out. LIE now. Lie your fucking ass off. Tell her how she could wear a fucking potato sack and look like the sexiest woman on the planet. You will either do this without hesitation or be doomed to a life of pure unadulterated Hell from which the only redemption is to buy her a Sports Car. Even then she’ll ask you why you took a chance that her big, giant, behemoth, ass would fit in such a teeny, tiny little eighty thousand dollar car.

Men and women lie about different things to each other. Men go out to the strip club so they can treat the hotties there like a piece of meat and then come home and tell their lady, “No really, I was out having a couple of cold ones with the Boys.” He really was out with the boys, but they were in different parts of the club with different women taking their money, so technically that really wasn’t as much of a lie as it was an omission of unneeded information.

When women lie it is something more along the lines of “It’s your Baby!”

Our family of four has reduced our trash output to ONE single bag… for the entire week!  Some trash cans along our street are bursting at the rim with bags of trash and I often wonder how full their recycling bin is.  I don’t intend to look; I’m just curious. 

We are accomplishing this trash reduction in a couple of ways: 1. we compost food scraps and yard waste in trash barrels outside our kitchen door.  This turns into terrific dirt mulch and fill for our garden and trees. 2. We recycle everything possible.  We put our recyclables into a basket on top of the fridge, which we empty into the recycling bin every couple of days. Our recycle bin is always 3 times more full than the trash bin, although this week’s record one bag of trash suprises even me!  3. We don’t buy products with a lot of packaging and even reuse some packaging material, depending on what it is.  

How many bags of trash does your family produce?

Firstly, I feel it important to point out that sex doesn’t make the relationship, but it sure does fill in those awkward silences quite nicely.

Women; please don’t refer to it as a Tally whacker. If you are talking about our penis; call it by its God given name; Kilauea. OK, You can call it a penis, pecker, cock, dick, Willy the One eyed Wonder Worm or the Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.

Now, let me point out that there is no such thing as a bisexual man. Women can be bisexual, and that is one of the most beautiful things on earth. At least in the videos it is. Realistically, the women that like women only are more like guys than guys. They dress, talk, act and chew tobacco, like fucking storm troopers and parade outside abortion clinics looking to score with poor unsuspecting and emotionally downtrodden girls that just had society and an asshole of a guy dump on them. You know: easy prey. I have to applaud the idea no matter how Jay and Silent Bob-esque it is.

Fags and Dikes are not bisexual. They ONLY like their own kind. Women can be bisexual. Men cannot be bisexual because you either suck dick or you don’t. I know there are those people out there that say that if they could suck their own dick they would never leave the house. I say go right the fuck ahead and stay home because now you’re just another fag with a dick in your face, even if it is your own dick! After establishing this we can move on.

Women use sex to get what they want. With men; sex IS what they want. I call this a symbiotic relationship. We want what you can give us but we have to give you what you want to get it. Make this easier for both of us. Ask for your spoils WHILE you give us oral sex.

Acting like you don’t like sex doesn’t work either. I’ve heard you screaming out God’s name, my name, your ex-boyfriends name, and even your own damn name while you gouge your fingernails through the sheets, the back of my head, and my butt cheeks. So STOP it! If you didn’t like sex you wouldn’t own that pink plastic torpedo named BUZZ!

Women act like they aren’t ready to bump uglies when you meet them because they want to seem virtuous. You aren’t really virgins, all dressed in white cotton panties and experiencing booze and these naughty feelings for the first time. You just want respected and you think that we won’t respect you if we think you’ll give it up easy. If the truth be told; we probably wouldn’t be hanging around if we didn’t think you were going to give it up in the first place.

We really do respect girls who know what they want and don’t put up airs that they aren’t looking to get laid. Ok, I’m lying. We really don’t respect anyone, so don’t think that it matters if you were easy to hop in the sack with or not.

Refer back to the alcohol statement about men and fat chicks and you will understand better WHY you woke up with Buford B. Blue inside your apartment frying up a mess O’ grits an m’lasses last weekend. Booze is a two way street. The difference is that a woman knows BEFORE she goes out whether she’s getting laid that night. Guys pretty much have to wing it.

The drunker you get, the more likely we are getting lucky. The drunker we get, the more likely we are going to get a D.U.I., because once we are fucked up enough we lose all perception of volume, couth and time. We get loud, obnoxiously forward, and then suddenly realize that the bar closed a half an hour ago. One more shot for the ditch and the next thing we can focus on are the shiny tops of the police officer’s jack boots that we just puked fourteen shots of Jack Daniels on during the roadside sobriety test.

You get giggly, somber, and /or downright unruly when you get drunk. If we play our cards right, we get you ladies just loaded enough to convince you to take us home while not so drunk that we have to wash the vomit off before we use you as a human trampoline. In other words we end up with Miss Right Now.

Alcohol is a treacherous thing though. Many times while stalking for the right trophy babe to ply with alcohol a pretender pops into the scene and we end up with a coyote girl sleeping on our arm in the morning. Yes, we would rather gnaw an arm off than take the chance of waking Bubbles the Dancing Bear up by pulling it out from under her head.

It amazes me how oblivious people can be to the world around them.  Now, there are times when we all momentarily “check out”, only to end up in our own little world for a milli-second.  I’m not talking about that.  However, I AM referring to those self-absorbed, bubble-dwellers who are only concerned with what’s going on inside the bubbles in which they dwell.  Examples…you ask?   Oh…where do I begin?  Let’s see if you recognize any of these famous “wearers of blinders to the world”.

Mr. “What address is that?”:  He casually strolls through suburban neighborhoods (and busy streets) at a dainty 4-6 mph looking for an address that he has neither written down or memorized hoping that when he sees it, it’ll miraculously come back to him.  In the meantime though, he’ll trap you in a tailgating vortex unable to pass due to oncoming traffic without even the slightest concern that you may have someplace to be - a place for which you do know the address.

Ms. “Elevator Bulldozer”: She waits for the elevator to arrive like it’s the last flight out of town and she’s gotta be on it come hell or highwater.  Suddenly it arrives!  She rushes through the barely open doors as if she’s being chased.  Nevermind the lady trying to exit with a babystroller that had to subject her crying child to a mesmerizing view of the stainless steel wall…or the little old lady for whom exiting an elevator feels like shes climbing off of one of the most jarring and unsettling experiences of movement she’s felt since the car ride over.  None of this matters to Ms. “EB” because you’re in her elevator car…the one that she sent for (seems like minutes and should have been seconds ago) to pick her up.

Conversational Road Blockers: These two have chosen to forego visiting one of the 5 million Starbucks to hold a conversation, because the middle of the road suits them just fine, thank you.  While the pressing issues of the world are being discussed in this stalled motorcade of dialogue, you are held hostage and thoroughly resented if you have the audacity to honk your horn.  After all, you do run the risk of being rude by interrupting their train of thought…no not the one that shocks them back to the realization that we’re just seconds away from backing up to get a running start in order to help them move their little chit chat along.

Mr. “Quick Question”: He’s on a quest for information and nothing is gonna stand in his way - not even an existing situation or an ongoing conversation.  By some scientific act of osmosis, standing in line for 5 hours has made you invisible to “Sir-Double Q” and he zips right past you and every other invisible patron just to ask…”one quick question”.  Invariably this ten cent question usually requires a fort knox answer that sustains your powers of invisiblity for another 15 minutes.  Meanwhile, the quick question gives birth to additional quick questions, because the great inquisitor doesn’t see anyone else waiting…and how could he?  We’re invisible.

Mr. “Loud & Proud”: You may have seen him, but you’ve definitely heard him.  He’s the one who wants everyone in the building to know every thought that’s found its way from his walnut-sized brain out of that gaping bullhorn of a mouth and into the atmosphere for all to marvel at in awe and wonder.  For this guy, “volume control” is best saved for 80s hairstyles.  Whether on the cell phone or not letting his helpless victim get a word in edgewise, he provides a verbal sandblast about his cheating b%#h of a girlfriend, his damn job, his new car, his kickass motorcycle…choose your topic!  Better yet, why not take them all in at once, because that’s how they’re spraying you in the face and in the back of the head, while you’re desperately trying to gather your own thoughts long enough to locate the exit…or a baseball bat.

Ms. “Stop n Chat”: When not sitting in a car in the middle of the road, this one is busy log-jamming the rest of the world on foot.  She has many a stop on her motor mouth world tour for a bevy of stunned onlookers.  First stop-The end of the escalator ride.  Yes, she’s done with the ride and has decided to grow accustomed to not having to move her legs, and with good reason - she’s talking to someone.  Nevermind the flip flops and bloody toes being chewed up by the massive, rotating,  metal stairs behind her.  Next stop-The end of the airplane corridor.  It’s a big welcome home as her loved ones embrace her and attempt to gracfully pull her aside so that others behind her may share the same experience with their loved ones.  Not so fast, because when the mouth moves, the legs stop and there’s so much to tell about the flight over and how the flight attendant wouldn’t provide extra nuts and how the guy next to her kept rudely falling asleep everytime she tried to talk to him.  Next stop-The grocery line. Take your time with that price check, because she’s kindly taken that time to inform you of the evening’s menu and how she can never find fresh strawberries this time of season and how when she was a child her grandmother used to make fresh strawberry pie, not like those canned strawberries on isle 3 but more like the strawberries they used to sell at the festival, where you could also get free samples while they lasted…apparently not as long as my “quick trip” to the market to pick up milk.  Final stop-In her parking space.  You thought she was leaving, but you were in for a rude awakening when she popped in a “bluetooth” while looking for her car keys.  Finally, the car starts…those precious, white lights illuminate telling you that the space will soon be yours…and…and…and she’s sitting there in reverse with her foot on the brake…still talking!!!  About what, you ask?  Simply a heads up to let the person on the other end know that she’s on her way home and will finish the conversation in front of the house, in her car, in the middle of the frickin’ street!

Welcome to my world.

Benman out!

The fireworks of explosive comments from Ann Coulter, Meghan McCain and Laura Ingraham aimed at fellow republicans demonstrate the inevitability of all out war between progressive and conservative factions for controll of the republican party.

Conservative Ann Coultre devastated the McCain faction when she said, “I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton than John McCain.”  Meghan McCain, (who supports stem cell research,  gay marriage and describes herself as a progressive republican), campaigned for her father and blasted  Coulter saying, “I find her offensive, radical, insulting and confusing all at the same time. She also said, Coultre represents bad stereotypes of republican women.

Conservative talk radio pundit Laura Ingraham insulted Meghan McCain with derogatory shots aimed at McCains body weight in describing McCain as a “plus size.” McCain fired back saying Laura Ingraham can “Kiss my fat ass.” McCain who claims to presently be a size 8 also said, “I am not overweight in the least - But even if I were overweight, I expected substantive criticism from conservative pundits for my views. That is the nature of political discourse, and my intent was to generate discussions about the current problems facing the republican party.

McCain says she is trying to be a good role model for a new generation of republican women and describes Coultre as being a bad role model for republican woman.

What say you?

A religious figure who basically rules the one of the largest groups in the world. Christians treat him as if they heard the words escape the lips of Jesus Christ himself. But who is he really? A man who found a way to receive millions of dollars of government grants. Wait…, isn’t that wrong. It’s seems if our government actually adhered to its separation of church and state mandates, this could not be possible. But this is where we are. We have hundreds of thousands of taxpayers paying for something they don’t believe in. Basically a giant cult. We already know that government officials have altered this “Holy document” (the bible), and even before this, ideals were stolen to persuade a potential following for this new religion. It’s basically an abnormally large drug ring. We can consider our federal government as a giant grow house, the priest and others offiliated directly with the church as the pusher men, and the helpless brainwashed public, as the feening addicts who don’t know they are slowly killing themselves. We as a body of citizens can see our government as being a morally bankrupt pile of money grubbing, soulless swine, drooling at the prospect of a few extra dollars. What we cannot see is where this money is coming from. The pockets of every US citizen. A person like myself absolutely loathes an idea like this. The belief of some mystical creature in the sky who will decide our fate, while allowing some people magical powers to do things like part massive bodies of water. Right. What we need to do is pull our money out of somebody elses fantasy world, and let the people who choose to live this way, support their addiction themselves. Now don’t get me wrong. The idea of a life of nurturing, selflessness, and charity, I am not opposed to. But the thought, that people are willing to step over someone else just to get into heaven, is a little ridiculous. Or the religious fanatics who will literally isolate, ostracize, and go so far as to teach their children, to separate others who think differently completely. Perfect. Lets make it so the people with new, useful ideas, can have no impact on the world. The money involved, though its a serious issue that needs to be paid attention to, is not the only issue. What this country has bred, is an assortment of people, all ages and races, to fear a higher power. To fear the “chosen one”, always the one with the authority. Now think of this. If we were given free will, we wouldn’t need to fear God, or Bush, or the Pope. We would need to fear the direct repercussions of our actions, which may not have a single thing to do with being smighted by God. What implementing this religious concept also does,  is allow people to be ignorant. Believing that so long as they are one way, someone will take care of the rest. Some people need it. The ones with nothing left in the world. As for the rest, I believe that understanding the nature of what it means to exist in such a planet, will provide insight as to what is truly reliable, and what is merely a scam. The Christmas tree for example, a pagan ritual. A tree would be placed over the remains of a tribes deceased, in hopes that the nutrients from the body (not buried in a casket) would be absorbed into the the tree, allowing it to flourish. People so busy fearing death, and essentially a dream world that they created, they forget things. They forget that as we sit and use all our resources to pursue an overindulgent, self fulfilling life, means that our future relatives will be left with nothing but hardship. But no, the fuzzy feeling they get when the mock their “pagan death tree”, by wrapping it in garland and putting a star on it, is far more important than conserving our natural resources. Reality, is a very unpleasant world at times. Not understanding this means that at any given point of a persons life, they can only achieve so much knowledge, thus so much power. You want to be ahead of the pack, pick up a god damn book, and start filling your mind with something other than nonsense.

Hello, fellow commuters.  I haven’t been on the freeway in the mornings for several years, but I took a job recently with a 15 mile commute.  Occasionally, my husband and I are able to carpool together.  This, we feel, is a good thing for our cars, the environment, and our marriage.  We get an additional half an hour to talk with one another! 

But here’s what I am seeing from my car window when I am behind you in my car:  Miss Smoker-Chick and Mr. Smoker-Dude flicking their cigarette ashes out the window to keep them out of their car.  I understand that ashes are a respiratory hazard and can leave nasty stains on your upholstery and work clothes, so keeping them outside the car is a better choice.  Right.  But the real PISSER is: what to do with the butt?  Are cigarette butts NOT litter?  Why are you flicking your butt out the car window? 

A long time ago, it became a law that we can’t throw our sh*t out the car window anymore.  Not aluminum cans, bags, or even tiny little gum wrappers.  In many places, it costs $1,000 and/or jail time to be caught red-handed throwing anything out the car window, or even allowing litter to fly free from your car accidentally. So, please tell me why we have not all internalized this law, this courtesy of the land, to mean ALL trash must remain inside your car until you can dispose of it in a trash can at a later time? I suggest that you keep a cup with a bit of water in it to extinguish the cigarette when you are done with it. 

Cigarette smokers: Smoke in your car if you wish, but stop dropping the filter butt on the ground when you’re finished.  Thank you!

Okay. Where do I start? Let me first say that I love my husband, and most of the time, he’s caring, kind, and sweet. But today was the utmost mean thing he has done, in the entire existence of our eight year marriage, that teetered on the brink of pure scummy husbandly selfishness.

I’m home from a sweet trip down Holiday Lane with my four-year-old son. It was wonderful. Humongous candy cane and snowflake lights decorated the street lamps, the Union Square tree lit up my son’s face as the most prized mental picture of the years to come, and we were able to score free hot chocolate from the Ghirardelli square store (and I loooove chocolate.)

But, my husband has been the bearer of kill joy today. Instead of surprising and meeting him after work, he was off early and already home by the time my son and I arrived downtown. After refusing to meet us and telling me he would be home the rest of the day because he was tired, he decided to go out with his bestfriend and “forgot” his cellphone.

My son and I were stranded in the freezing cold darkness (okay, I’m exaggerating a little) of the Bart Station. Add to that, we had a “wonderful performance” presented by the  woman screaming “You punk a** bi***, you ain’t never gonna see yo son again!”  all across the bart station as I was scrambling all the numbers I needed to call him at. I finally caught him on his bestfriend’s number to tell him that he forgot to pick me up, then he replies “What did you want me to do, wait around for you all night?” 

I hung up on him, called HIS mom, and she picked me up without hesitation.

Tonight, I want to lock and leave a note on the bedroom door:

Rely on the couch to sleep on tonight, like I rely on your mom to pick me up from the bart station.

Of course, I’m not that cold or callous to leave a silly nasty note And I’m not about to let his need to “hang out with the boys” damper the rest of my night. I’m still pissed, angry, and the phones are still shut off - but I’ll just let my temper simmer for the holidays since, regardless of the Grinch’s attempt, I’m still in the mood for this night and the holiday season to be peaceful. And on the bright side (because of this) maybe, just maybe, he’ll feel guilty enough to buy me a better present than the mechanical/computer upgrades that he’s been buying me for the last few years (last year: extra GB stick, the year before that: an Ipod.)

Wishful thinking on my behalf, I suppose. Catching my husband anywhere near a Macy’s Womens department is like waiting for reindeers to fly.

Happy Holidays to all.